She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. That is wrong on so many different levels. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? So here is the list of those that are, in our opinion some really funny jokes 1. What's black and white, black and white, black and white? What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. They charged one - and let the other one off. They're easier to find in the dark. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line.
Which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less. Because they go answer the door. What's the best time to go to the dentist? You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out! My husband and I purchased an old home in Boston from two elderly sisters. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. The way nationalities have different takes on the same thing.
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. Like the way an Irish person or a Scottish person would say that the band Snow Patrol are boring but an Eskimo has a hundred words for how crap Snow Patrol are. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal. I mean my anxiety is through the roof but record times. Help, I feel like a pair of curtains! The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen! Why are his legs sticking in the air? Top 20 Beano jokes of all time revealed as 2,000 kids pick their favourites; Thousands of youngsters name their Top 20 favourite gags in the comic.
It probably doesn't, but this page may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you make a purchase using such links. How are women like linoleum floors? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Dress her up like an altar boy. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? Why would anyone want to make a blonde joke? It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home. Dwight is unconvinced that anybody from the office suffers from leprosy, flesh-eating bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Spontaneous Dental Hydroplosion, or Government Created Nanorobot Infection.
My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. You put a little boogie into it. I saw how he kissed your neck. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother. Beano bad boy Dennis the Menace to swap iconic striped jumper for Christmas fundraiser The poll was done to launch the Beano's joke contest, which aims to get primary school classes to send their best gags to beano. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
Good for the planet, but scratchy. What do you call a nanny with breast implants? Peanut butter is difficult to spread. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The reason for that is because he only has one arm. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you. How is being in the military like getting a blowjob? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Which one had the best figure? He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu'. Oh, and some of them were a leeeeettle bit naughty. Sorry, sorry, that was too easy. Veteran comic Frank Carson has probably tried them all A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been hailed in a survey as the funniest gag ever. Perhaps it isn't just the way he tells 'em: A team of researchers believe they have identified the 50 best one-liners. He could see the snowblower coming.